Hopes for the Coming Weeks

“So you’re going to be a writer when you grow up!” I heard this statement quite a few times as a child. Perhaps it was the fact that it was rarely framed as a question that caused me to react contrarily and pursue visual arts rather than jump into a writing career. (Expectations turned me off.)

However, I suspect the real reason was a nagging feeling that I didn’t enjoy writing. I did seem to have a knack for it, something that could surely have been developed, but I found it agonizing to get any piece of serious writing going. The stress of thinking what I wanted to say and how to say it was a constant block to getting started. Those first few sentences came out in a painful muddle. The rewriting would begin before I barely had anything on the page. Writing just seemed like something for which I lacked patience. (Interestingly, throughout childhood I kept dozens of journals, but didn’t consider that to be “real” writing; there was no pressure involved.)

It’s worth wondering where all that stress came from. I’m sure most writers feel it to some degree.  My problem was a combination of self-consciousness and perfectionism.  I became frustrated and a bit panicked when the first draft wasn’t gorgeous. This perfectionist attitude has hindered me in other creative endeavors as well; I couldn’t let anyone see what I was doing until I was an expert. Of course, no one becomes an expert in a bubble.

Through this class, I hope to reverse my feelings about writing. I don’t expect it to become easy, but I would like to learn to have patience for the process, to embrace the challenge, and to be able to do it with a thicker skin. This becomes even more important when writing for interactive media. It’s time to allow myself to be imperfect in front of others. I hope in the coming weeks to let go, learn, develop a voice, and above all, improve my writing.